My biggest fear.

If anyone ever asked me this very question, I would likely have answered “lizards” or just for fun, “my mother” — note that both these sentences were true. Just to clarify, my mother used to be really scary. Though she has lost her scary touch over the years (😂). I am also still slightly uncomfortable around lizards but is getting better.

So what is my fear then? I actually do not know what it is called. Cleithrophobia? Claustrophobia?

Cleithrophobia is the fear of closed spaces or being locked in an enclosed place.

Claustrophobia
/ˌklɔːstrəˈfəʊbɪə/
noun

Essentially, I get anxiety attacks when I get locked in. It can be a cave with a tiny entrance and big guys blocking the entrance (yes this happened. And the big guy is my 1.8m+ tall friend). Or sleeping beside my fiance who gave me a tad too little space. Or being locked in a house without a key to get out. Or just meditating.

I will only know a certain something triggers me when it actually triggers me. So it is hard to avoid things that I do not already know triggers me. @.@

I wrote this post because my anxiety attack got (slightly) triggered listening to the latest ChooseFI podcast about an ex-inmate’s journey to financial freedom. I wanted to know the full story so I listened to the entirety of the podcast and was fascinated. Both by the podcast and by my body’s reaction to the podcast. I think the anxiety was so light this time around that I can control my impulses and not feel like I want to jump out of the bus. Or rip my hair off my scalp. I think I might be able to control this. Time to experiment on me. Haha!

On a side note, fortunately, I do well in most public places. I have no issues with the elevator or on public transports. Yay for me.

Ms. Finding Money

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